Mom Guilt: How to Overcome

You can overcome mom guilt by replacing guilt with gratitude and shame with service.

What does Mom Guilt look like as a Mom?

You know you are a new Mom when you spend time doing anything and then regret not spending that time with your baby.

This is guilt.

However, if all you have to do is look at your baby to feel like you're a terrible Mom, this is shame.

There shouldn't be room for guilt or shame in your house.

What can we do about it?

We can replace guilt with gratitude. When you find yourself regretting doing something, or regretting avoiding something, step back and look at all the beauty in your life.

Next, let's replace shame with service. Next time you feel overwhelmed or unworthy, try doing something special for your partner or child.

What does replacing guilt with gratitude look like?

Let's set the scene. Your friend asks you to join them for a fun night. It could be seeing a show, going to dinner, throwing axes - fill in the blank!

You are not just a Mother. You are a complete person with hobbies and interests beyond being a mother.

The fun event arrives, but you can't enjoy yourself. An intrusive thought enters your mind, trying to convince you that you made the wrong choice.

You think, "I am showing my child that having fun is more important than spending time with them. They are only little for so long. I need to enjoy every...-"

STOP!

This is the guilt talking! Look at your friend and remind yourself how wonderful it is to have them in your life. Laugh at yourself for how bad you are at axe throwing. These moments of will make you a stronger Mother. 

Maybe you need a physical gesture to remove these intrusive, guilty thoughts. Imagine you are holding an axe. Inside this axe are all the lies trying to make you feel guilty. Now throw that axe as hard as you can! 

Bullseye! Maybe you are good at axe throwing! 

What does replacing shame with service look like?

Let's again set the scene. You're changing your baby's diaper and you notice it is bright red.

Yesterday it was a bit pink, but you addressed it with butt paste. Despite that, it's much worse today. Immediately you think "I am such a bad Mother. How could I have let this happen?".

STOP!

That is the shame talking. You can turn that shame into service by calling your pediatrician for advice, or giving your little one a bath.

Shame keeps you from connection, but service helps you bond with your baby. And, it just might remind you that you are an amazing Mother.

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* I am not a source for medical advice of what to do if your baby has a diaper rash. Please consult your pediatrician because not all rashes are the same and may require different treatment.